200 Words - Round Six
Walking across the salt pan was gruelling, but it wasn’t what depressed Kavan most. It was how he had come to this state. Five days ago, he had come into Hardy’s Port, well off and looking for fun. He chose as companion, a woman, from Nastir, where the sexual arts were celebrated in festivals throughout the year; he chose wrongly, looking back on it, or else he should have left first thing in the morning. Instead he had stayed on for breakfast, and the confrontation with an enraged husband/owner who sat on the Hardy’s Team and fronted for the Moral Majority.
Corruption of a slave, given the circumstances, should have drawn a fine, but this slave came attached to an unhealthy amount of the Teamster’s ego. The charge of assault drew a heftier penalty. Six months community labour.
The Teamster had one more revenge up his sleeve. Kavan had drawn salvage duty. Desert work mostly, because Hardy’s Port was a dry planet.
I like this beginning sentence. It’s nice and strong, and it has me immediately interested about what’s going on. I want to know what could be more depressing than walking across a dried up lake.
I don’t think you need the comma after “Port� because, if you recall the old rule, it could be read as “Five days ago well off and looking for fun�. Also, you don’t need the next comma after “woman�. My next catch is the semi-colon after “year� which could be started as a new sentence instead.
Beyond the technical catches, I very much like this piece. I’m already sucked in to what’s going on and wanting to know more about the man who would corrupt a slave and then dare to stay for breakfast. 
Nicely done. I would definitely keep reading on with this one, and I hope you honor me with showing me what happens to this interesting man.
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