Pet Peeve #12 - Tell Me One More Time
Or rather, don’t.
If you went through English and Composition classes like the ones I did, then you know this basic format for school papers:
Introduction - Body - Conclusion.
You may be thinking, “That’s not so bad. Why the pet peeve?” The pet peeve is what was pushed along with the three section paper.
Introduction: Tell the reader what you are going to tell him/her.
Body:Tell the reader what you told him/her you would tell him/her.
Conclusion: Sum up and tell the reader what you already told him/her.
Take all you’ve learned for that, put it in a mental file, and save it for your school papers. Unknown to most, if not all, Americans, a reason people don’t like some American films is because of that very format. Tell what needs to be told, but don’t beat the reader over the head with it.
I know David was smothered by his mother as a child. You’ve told me. I know. I know. So when David is working up the nerve to kiss his first crush, Samantha, I don’t want to hear it again.
Even if his mother’s smothering in the early years makes him suddenly yell at Samantha instead, don’t tell me again. At least not in the same way. If you told me the first time, show me in a flashback before, after, or during his little outburst at poor Samantha.
Telling something you’ve already told can stop the plot, which you definitely don’t want to do. Only retell if it’s something you’re sure bears repeating, and even then, do as I said and tell me a different way.
Not only can retelling stop the plot, your reader may take it as the author regarding the reader as not smart enough to have understood it the first time or remember it after the first telling. Unless it’s your aim for the reader to be offended, you most certainly do not want to offend the reader.
March 1st, 2007 at 11:40 am
I agree.
Retelling can too often be like restating the obvious. I think that unfortunately the trend towards that style of writing (in journalism and middle and high schools) is partially due to the fact that we are so fearful as writers that the overstimulated (heck, “barraged”) reader may not recall what we said a mere heartbeat ago and so we have to keep pushing our point.
You are correct that such tendencies can completely stop a plot and end suspension of disbelief (if the reader is cognizant of its intrusion).
I must admit, though, I wonder how many readers truly allow themselves the “space” (time and solitude) to truly absorb a book. If they are only reading half-heartedly, they may not notice a problem with it.
I’m sure I overlook certain things while reading. Certain things jump out at me and others I just subconsciously snarl at while trying to read above the din of life with a child, curious husband and puppy.
Although I may not like all instances of retelling, some can be inserted so skillfully and subtly that we probably all just accept them as character depth and additional backstory.
But that’s just my opinion
~Saoirse
March 1st, 2007 at 10:23 pm
Retelling could and can be a fine art but not one that is often done well, in my opinion. Even if I’m reading over a long space of time, I tend to have a “tic” and know when I’m being told something I’ve already heard. I find it a bit annoying.