Fiction Scribe

I had a request a while ago to do a post on dialogue tags. The writer who requested this writes poetry, and thus doesn’t have to deal with them very often.

In most cases, the thing about dialogue tags it the more a writer uses them the newer that person tends to be to writing. This isn’t a rule for everyone, but something I’ve noticed of writers on the forums I’m on.

Dialogue tags should only be used when necessary - when introducing a new character to the scene, when you have two or more members of the same sex talking and it will get confusing without them, and occasionally when you can pair it well with a character action.

There isn’t a lot in writing more annoying than:

“Jane,” Micheal began.

“But they could be here at any moment!” Jane exclaimed breathlessly.

First off, if she’s breathless, it’s doubtful she’s going to get that many words out without at least one pause in there. Second, the exclamation point at the end of what she said already tells me she exclaimed it. No need to tell me the same information twice; I’d like the story not to grind to a halt, if you don’t mind.

With that little piece, you can start by chopping off the names. We know who is talking by the first introductory lines. Try using your valuable writing space for body movements to convey how the characters feel. Also, the “soothingly” and breathlessly stuff can be knocked off.

You know the “show, don’t tell” phrase you hear all the time? It especially applies to dialogue tags.

What I don’t want to read:

“How could you?” he asked angrily.

What I want to read:

“How could you?” he asked, his eyes narrowing as he continued to glare at her.

While narrowing of the eyes can also show suspicion, paired with the dialogue, it’s obvious he’s angry and only getting more so. With body language, you’ve shown me, not told me.

Nobody likes being told what to do or feel; they want to experience it for themselves. But before I stray into a post about showing and not telling, I’ll simply say, use your dialogue tags wisely. The first example would read much better like this:

“Jane…” Micheal began.

“But they could be here at any moment!” She bit her bottom lip, and tears welled up in her eyes as she looked at him.

No, it’s not perfect, but it’s definitely better. Double check your tags. Could they be changed for the better? Do you need some of them at all?

Cheers.