Fiction Scribe

*JM says: I love this book cover.

Hello and welcome to Fiction Scribe, Christian!

Great to be here, thanks.

List five words that define you as a person.

Consistent.
Contradictory.
Random.
Giraffe.
Sarcastic.
Rebel.

Tell us about your collection of short stories, Empty Rooms Lonely Countries.

Empty Rooms Lonely Countries collects a sampling of my short stories from the last ten years. They are autobiographical, but please don’t let the word turn you off. The stories move from Tampa, Florida to Philadelphia, Pennsylvania to London, England to Paris, France and eventually end up in Wroclaw, Poland, with plenty of places in between.

Find out how I ended up wandering the streets of Krakow with the United States Secret Service. Discover how I officiated a wedding with an army of lesbians. Wonder how I accidentally drove to a wrong state. Gasp at the monster which lives in the basement on Geneva Street. The stories jump genres, from horror to humor to romance to drama. Individually, the stories explore love, loss and redemption, and collectively, they combine to tell a larger story about someone who lost his way and eventually comes in from the cold.

Garrison Keillor wrote that “love has brought a great many people to safety”, and if that’s true, this is one man’s journey to safety.

What inspired the title of your book?

The title is the name of the jam my grandmother used to make. No, that’s not right! Actually, it’s from a more recent piece I’ve been working on. It’s meant to reflect people, what we are and what we become. When we are born, we are an empty room. When we die, we are a lonely country. Out of context, it sounds pretentious and slightly morbid.

Do you have a favourite short story out of the twenty-seven included in the book?

That’s tough. On my website, I’ve been doing commentaries to the stories from the book in the order they appear, and I’ve been horrified to discover how some of the stories don’t hold up for me or aren’t as economical as I’d like them to be, and because the stories are so personal, I can recognize mistakes that the reader might not. Because of this, my favorite story keeps changing.

I have love for “Geneva Street” for a variety of reasons. I love how it works as a horror story – monster and all – without ever reverting to fiction. I love how personal the story is with the family history and childhood details. And most of all, I love how everyone keeps coming back to the ending, trying to figure it out. So, my favorite story today is “Geneva Street”.

What or who started you on the path to becoming an author?

At the risk of repeating myself, a lot of it had to do with my mother, who let me stay up late on weekends to work on my writing, and who was both kind and strict enough to give me my first deadline. At the time, I really wanted to be a comic book artist.

On top of my art classes in school, I even had three hours of private art lessons a week to achieve this goal. I wrote and drew my first comic book, and when it was over, I realized that I loved the writing more than the art. From then on, my interest was in writing, specifically short stories.

What would you say is the most difficult thing about being a writer?

The most difficult thing about being a writer is finding the time to actually do it. Life has a wonderful way of distracting you with obstacles. But it gets done one way or another. And to be honest, if that’s the most difficult thing about being a writer, then I should consider myself lucky.

If you could do it all again, what – if anything – would you do differently?

I’m not that kind of person. Because my stories are based on my own experiences, it was important for me to have had the life I’ve lived in order to be where I am now.

What/where is your ideal writing environment?

A lot of you are going to cringe at this, but it’s Starbucks. I’ve written about this on my website because a Starbucks has finally opened up where I live (Wroclaw, Poland). Before then, I had to go to Berlin or Vienna to do some quality writing, which really isn’t financially viable.

When I lived in the States, I was at a Starbucks daily, and I could sit in a corner for hours writing. Most of Empty Rooms Lonely Countries was written in a Starbucks. There is something about the environment and the frappuccinos that works for me like a highly caffeinated muse. In fact, I’m answering these questions at a Starbucks right now.

I should start asking people where they are when they are answering my questions.

When you’re not writing, what are you doing?

On a given week, I’m teaching seventeen 90-minute lectures at two different universities and a high school, which does wonders for my voice. So, it’s safe to say if I’m not writing, I’m probably teaching. If I’m not writing or teaching then I’m spending time with my lovely wife, walking my awesome dog, riding my nerdy bike, or baking sweet delicious pies.

Sweet delicious pies? Mmmmm… Where were we?

Where do you see yourself in ten years?

That will make me 45 years old. I imagine when I’m not in a fetal position and crying at this realization, I will still happily be living in Europe and hopefully promoting another book that no one will read.

Is there anything else you would like to share with the readers here?

I would like to thank everyone who has bought the book. I can’t properly communicate how thrilled I am every time I see a copy sold. And for those who are still debating whether to buy the book or not, I’m having a contest to give away $1000 if I manage to sell 1000 copies of Empty Rooms Lonely Countries by the end of this year. I have a long way to reaching the goal, but I believe I can do this with your support.

And don’t forget to check out my website (www.emptyroomslonelycountries.com) where you can read more stories, commentaries, and comics, as well as get information on how to enter the contest.

Thank you very much for coming by this blog. I wish you great success.

Thank you. This has been a lot of fun.